Dear my current employers
Here's how I view the whole employer/employee relationship:
I need money, so I agree to be your employee. To me, that means that I will do whatever you want me to do (within reason) without question. Basically, while I'm on the clock, I'm your slave.
When I'm off the clock, however, I'm on my time, and on my time, I will not take out your trash, I will not wash your dishes, and I will not make a delivery you forgot about forty minutes after we've closed, when you only forgot because you were either smoking weed in the alley all night or racking up a forty-dollar tab at the bar next door.
If I weren't already planning to quit in May, I would call the health department and OSHA all over your asses. As it is, I don't think it's worth the trouble.
But I will never eat your food again, and I endeavor to ruin your business by telling as many people as I can about how shitty your place is.
You're all fucking losers,
Coleman
